This is my take. Something I first learned back in 2015 at Burning Man: triggers are a pathway to growth. I remember hearing it, and it stuck with me like the dust from the Playa, it just wouldn’t leave. When we feel anger, frustration, disappointment, or any of those low-vibration emotions rooted in fear, our instinct is usually to avoid them. We dodge these feelings like a bad Tinder date.
Let’s say a friend or partner does something that irritates you. You could tell them, “Hey, this upsets me, so please don’t do it again.” But here’s the thing – asking the world to behave according to your preferences isn’t growth. It’s control. And controlling the outside world to avoid triggers? Yeah, good luck with that. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t work.
Here’s the deal: The ego thrives on two things – self-hatred and self-righteousness. These triggers are like giant flashing signs saying, “Here’s the story you’ve been telling yourself!” And that story? It’s probably some version of “I’m not enough” or “They don’t appreciate me.” You help people, but when they don’t recognise it, resentment creeps in. Then you start asking, “Was I really helping them or just feeding my own ego?”
The Four Levels of the Mind
To really understand triggers, it’s helpful to dig into the four levels of the mind:
- Pure Consciousness: This is the foundation of the mind, the quiet awareness that sits behind all thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It’s always present, like a still ocean beneath the waves of the mind.
- The Absorptive Mind: This part of the mind is like a sponge, absorbing patterns, emotions, and sensations from the world. It doesn’t judge – just takes in everything, good or bad.
- The Intellect: This is the part of the mind that tries to make sense of everything it absorbs. It assigns meaning, builds narratives, and analyses experiences. This is where many of our stories, especially ego-driven ones get created.
- The Ego: This is where things get messy. Ego takes ownership of the stories created by the intellect, attaching them to our identity. “I am this,” “I am not that.” It’s the ego saying, “If they don’t respect me, then I must not be enough.” This is where most triggers are born.
When you’re triggered, it’s Ego hijacking awareness – the ego’s way of holding onto a story. Understanding these four layers helps us see that we are not our thoughts. Thoughts are just passing clouds; the true self is the sky behind them, untouched and vast.
The Ego Hijacks Your Mind
The ego loves a good narrative. Something triggers you, the body releases hormones, and your mind latches on, crafting a story faster than Netflix churns out new shows. You get caught in a loop of repetitive thoughts – fear, shame, anger – rinse and repeat.
When someone’s words trigger you, it’s not just what they said. It’s the ego screaming, “I’m under attack! My identity, my worth, my existence – they don’t respect me!” It’s like being the star of your own movie, except the plot is all the ways life isn’t going your way.
And the ego doesn’t stop there. It moves between self-hatred (“I’m not good enough”) and self-righteousness (“Nobody appreciates me”). But here’s a question: Are you really serving others, or are you serving your own need to feel worthy? Because when you serve the world, you’re not keeping score. Real service has no attachment to outcomes or karma points.
Triggers as Growth Opportunities
Triggers expose the stories we cling to. These stories often stem from childhood experiences, social contracts, and the relentless need to belong. But here’s the thing: The fear that fulfilment will stop growth? Total rubbish. Growth doesn’t come from chasing validation – it comes from finding fulfilment within.
And how do we get there? By observing our thoughts, not identifying with them. When we calm the mind, we shift from reacting to observing. We start noticing that thoughts and emotions are just… thoughts and emotions. Nothing more.
This shift, learning to be the observer – opens the door to deeper awareness. Your intuition sharpens. You develop a sensitivity to life, to the subtle shifts in energy, and suddenly, you can catch yourself before the ego hijacks your mood.
Practical Steps for Handling Triggers
- Pause and Observe: When a trigger hits, stop. Don’t react. Just notice the emotion. Recognise that it’s the ego speaking – an old mental construct built from your unique life experience. The pause creates a moment of awareness, giving you a chance to observe instead of react.
- Breathe: Silence creates space, and breathwork helps you move from the ego’s chaos to inner calm. Nasal breathe deeply into the trigger, allow yourself to feel it fully, and let it pass through you without resistance. Breath anchors us back to the present moment, breaking the cycle of repetitive thoughts.
- Practise Vedic Meditation: Vedic meditation offers a powerful way to detach from the constant chatter of the mind. Through its simple yet profound practice, you enter a state of restful awareness, quietening the ego’s noise. With regular meditation, you cultivate a deeper connection to pure consciousness – where the triggers lose their grip and you experience life from a more centred, calm state. Over time, the mind becomes less reactive, and intuition sharpens, allowing you to respond to life’s challenges with ease.
- Shift the Inner Dialogue: The ego’s narrative is never original. It tells the same tired stories – “I’m not enough,” “I’ll never be appreciated.” But here’s the good news: You can rewrite the script. Use the trigger as an opportunity to shift from self-hatred to compassion. Each time you catch the ego’s story, replace it with a kinder, more empowering thought.
Everyone has their own mental blueprint, shaped by parents, upbringing, and experiences. No two people see the world the same way, which is why relationships are both challenging and beautiful. We connect because we see parts of ourselves in others, but we also learn from the differences. That’s the magic of human connection – it teaches us to grow together.
Self-Love and Enjoying Yourself
Here’s the truth: The journey of evolution is meant to be fun. Sure, the body likes to throw us off course with these pesky triggers, but you’re more than just a body or a mind. You’re the awareness behind it all.
And here’s a mantra I’ve used since Burning Man 2015: “Triggers are your guides.” Every time I get triggered, I ask, “What’s going on here? Why am I triggered?” Then I peel back the layers.
For example, when I was a teenager, I used to get crazy road rage. If someone honked at me, I’d flip them off and lose my mind. Eventually, I asked myself why. After digging deep, I realised it wasn’t about the honking—it was fear. Growing up in a violent household, I was always on edge. That honk was a reminder of feeling unsafe, of being disrespected.
But now? When someone honks, I laugh. I mean, we’re hurtling through space on a spinning rock, and people are upset about parking spots. It’s hilarious. Once you realise how absurd it is, you can’t unsee it.
From Fixing to Observing
Growth isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about observing the ego’s narrative and stabilising in awareness. When we stop identifying with every thought and feeling, we discover deeper fulfilment. And in that state, triggers become guides – not obstacles.
Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you had moments where a trigger became a guide? How did it show up for you? Drop a comment, send me a message, or share your story – I’d love to connect with you. Let’s grow together.
NOTE: Upcoming Retreat: 3rd–6th March 2025
If this resonates with you, we invite you to join us at our upcoming retreat from 3rd to 6th March 2025. This immersive experience is designed to equip you with all the tools you need to manage your triggers and much more. Through breathwork, meditation, and practical guidance, you’ll learn to observe your triggers, rewrite your inner narrative, and cultivate deeper self-awareness.