Let’s talk about that voice in your head. You know, the one with an opinion on everything, from why you shouldn’t go to the gym this morning to why you absolutely need to binge-watch that new series. That’s your ego, your internal shopping list filled with likes, dislikes, and preferences. But here’s the thing: it’s not the real you.
The Unique List
Everyone has their own shopping list, packed with things they love, avoid, or obsess over. These lists are shaped by upbringing, experiences, and culture. They influence how you interact with the world and the people around you.
For example, one might love hiking because their parents made nature trips fun. Others might hate it because their childhood hikes were gruelling, rainy misadventures: same activity, two different lists.
When your list aligns with someone else’s, you feel a connection. When it doesn’t, friction often arises. But the real magic happens when you realise this list is not fixed. It’s a construct, not who you are.
The Trap of the Ego
The ego loves to keep us busy. It tells us we’ll feel better if we achieve more, own more, or do more. But true contentment doesn’t come from adding to your shopping list. It comes from being connected with your higher self, the better part of you, the calm and steady observer behind all the noise.
Alan Watts put it beautifully: “The ego is nothing other than the focus of conscious attention.” In other words, the ego isn’t the real you. It’s the part of you that experiences thoughts and reacts to them. But thoughts are like clouds in the sky. They pass. They are not the sky itself.
The Illusion of Identification
One of the ego’s greatest tricks is making you believe you are your thoughts. It’s easy to fall into this trap. Your mind is constantly narrating, and it feels personal. But thoughts are just experiences, like sounds or sensations. They come and go, but the real you, your inner genius, remains constant and unaffected.
When you wake up to this truth, it’s like seeing the puppet strings for the first time. Suddenly, you can stop reacting to every thought and begin observing them instead.
Triggers and Patterns
Ever find yourself overeating even though you know it’s not good for you? Or skipping the gym when you promised you’d go? That’s the ego in action, seeking comfort or avoiding discomfort based on its list of likes and dislikes.
Recognising these patterns isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s about noticing the ego’s influence and gently steering yourself towards choices that align with your higher self. Choices that bring you calm and fulfilment.
The Pain of Self-Worth
Many people struggle with feelings of unworthiness, anxiety, and self-doubt. These are symptoms of identifying too closely with the ego. The ego thrives on comparison and scarcity, constantly telling you you’re not enough or that you need more to be worthy.
Waking up from this illusion can be life-changing. When you see that you are not your ego, these negative experiences lose their grip. You become free to connect with your inner calm, a state of being where you’re content with who and where you are.
Returning to Calm
At We Evolv3, our mission is to help people regain their sense of calm. This means helping them reconnect with a deeper part of themselves—the part that is already whole, unstressed, and content. It’s about living a meaningful and fulfilling life, not just chasing the next item on their shopping list.
The Takeaway
Your ego isn’t inherently wrong. It’s just a tool. It helps you navigate the world, form preferences, and grow. But it’s not the real you. The next time your ego tells you to skip the gym or eat that extra slice of cake, pause. Notice the thought, but don’t let it control you.
True freedom comes from realising you are not on your shopping list. You are the calm, centred observer behind it all.
If this resonates with you, please like this article, message me on Substack, or DM me on Instagram. Let’s chat about how you can reconnect with your inner calm and start living a truly meaningful life.