I spent years running from myself.
Maybe you have too. You tell yourself you’re fine, that you’ve got it all under control. But there’s a whisper in the back of your mind…one you try to ignore. It’s the part of you you don’t want to face. The one that holds your anger, your shame, your jealousy, your fear. The part of you that craves attention but also wants to disappear. The part that keeps sabotaging you when things are going too well.
Carl Jung called it the shadow – the hidden side of ourselves we refuse to see. And the irony? The more we suppress it, the more it controls us.
I know this because my shadow ran my life for years.
The Parts of Me I Didn’t Want to See
For a long time, I thought I was the good guy. The loyal partner. The strong one. The one who held it all together. But my marriage ending cracked me open in ways I wasn’t prepared for. I thought I had done everything right. I played the role I was supposed to play, and still, it all crumbled.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth…I wasn’t just a victim of circumstances. I played a role in my own suffering.
I told myself I was patient, but really, I avoided confrontation. I told myself I was loving, but deep down, I feared abandonment. I told myself I was strong, but I used my work, my distractions, my routine to avoid feeling deeply. I told myself I was selfless, but in reality, I over-sacrificed. I over-served. I lost myself in the process of trying to be everything for everyone else, convincing myself that if I just gave more, I’d finally be enough.
My shadow had been whispering to me for years, and I refused to listen. And so, like an unattended wound, it festered. It showed up in my relationships, in my habits, in the way I overcompensated, the way I tried to prove I was enough.
The Only Way Out is Through
Most people spend their lives avoiding their shadow. We tell ourselves we’re past it, that we’ve moved on. But moving on isn’t the same as healing.
Shadow work is like looking into a mirror and seeing everything you wish wasn’t there. It’s acknowledging the jealousy, the resentment, the fear of rejection, the deep craving for validation. It’s admitting that Sometimes, we don’t just want love…we crave passion, deep connection, and intimacy that goes beyond the surface. Sometimes, we don’t just want success…we want to prove everyone wrong. Sometimes, we don’t just want peace…we want justice.
And you know what? That’s okay.
The goal isn’t to eliminate the shadow. The goal is to integrate it. To own the parts of yourself you’ve been ashamed of. To sit with them instead of running. To understand that your anger isn’t the enemy – it’s your unspoken boundaries screaming to be heard. Your jealousy isn’t weakness – it’s a sign that something in you is craving more. Your fear isn’t a defect – it’s the wounded child in you still longing to feel safe.
The Power in Embracing the Darkness
What happens when you stop running from yourself?
For me, it meant sitting with my loneliness instead of trying to fill it with distractions. It meant facing the uncomfortable truth that I had played a role in my own heartbreak. It meant looking at the parts of myself I used to judge in others and realising – damn, that’s me too.
And something incredible happened.
I stopped blaming. I stopped hiding. I stopped feeling like I had to prove myself. I realised that the parts of me I tried to suppress were the parts of me that made me powerful.
The anger I suppressed? It became my fire, my ability to set boundaries. The sadness I hid? It became my depth, my ability to connect with others in a real way. The fear I ignored? It became my teacher, showing me where I still had work to do.
Your shadow isn’t your enemy. It’s your unclaimed strength.
If You Don’t Face Your Shadow, It Will Run Your Life Anyway
You can ignore it. You can suppress it. You can pretend you’re fine. But your shadow will find a way to express itself, whether you like it or not. It will show up in the way you react, in the patterns you repeat, in the emotions that bubble up when you least expect them.
But if you turn toward it, if you sit with it, listen to it, learn from it – you reclaim something you didn’t even realise you had lost.
Your power. Your authenticity. Your freedom.
And isn’t that what we’re all really after?
So here’s my challenge to you…Tonight, before bed, sit with yourself. Close your eyes. Breathe. And ask yourself: What part of me am I afraid to see?
Then listen. Don’t judge. Just listen.
Because the moment you stop running, you start becoming whole.
Your Turn. What part of yourself have you been avoiding? Drop a comment below and let’s talk about it. No judgment. Just truth.
Big Love,
Dino