How Boredom Can Teach You to Love Yourself (and the Universe)

 

Let’s get one thing straight: we’re all a little too busy. You know it. I know it. But what if the key to loving your life (and yourself) wasn’t about doing more things, but “doing nothing” at all? Sounds counterintuitive, right? Well, welcome to the paradox of life.

Love Comes in All Shapes and Sizes (No, Really)

 

Here’s the thing: love isn’t just some Hallmark card cliché or the Instagram couple that makes you want to cringe. Love comes in different forms. And yes, sometimes love means being productive, smashing your goals, and ticking off that to-do list. But for me, love also looks like carving out my alone time, unapologetically, and letting myself get bored.

Yes, you read that right. Boredom. I’m talking about the kind where you’re staring out of the window, watching the trees sway in the wind. Not meditating, not journaling, not visualising your dream life, or planning world domination—just being.

In these moments of nothingness, I’m reminded that the outside world is mostly a reflection of our inside world. The more love I see out there, the more I realise it’s just a mirror of how much I love myself. And no, this isn’t some cheesy self-love mantra. This is about recognising that love, in all its forms, starts with you being okay with just you—no distractions, no noise, no hustle.

Getting Bored on Purpose

 

It sounds mad, right? Why would anyone want to get bored on purpose? But hear me out. When was the last time you weren’t doing something? When you weren’t reaching for your phone the second you had five minutes to spare, waiting for your coffee, or standing waiting for you a lift?

I made a pact with myself to stop that. Now, I look for ways to pause. Maybe it’s during a drive or sitting there waiting for someone to show up. Instead of filling those moments with random distractions, I just let them be. I let myself sit there. No music. No podcast. No scrolling. No notifications. Just me and the world, as it is.

In these gaps of boredom, something amazing happens: I start loving those small moments. I start loving myself in those moments. And yes, sometimes I even connect with that deep, timeless part of me – a soul that’s probably way older than this body.

Love Isn’t Local – It’s Everywhere

 

Here’s where we get a bit woo-woo, but stick with me. I’m convinced that love isn’t just within us. It’s out there, in everything. It’s the force behind all the life we see around us, the glue holding the universe together. Sounds pretty grand, right? But that’s what love is – it’s everywhere, in all things. Esther Perel talks about how love in relationships isn’t about possession or control. Love is about freedom. Love is about recognising that it flows between people, not something we can trap and own. It’s a dance, not a chain.

And that’s exactly how I see it – love is the fabric of this universe. Sure, there’s chaos and entropy on one side of the scale, but on the other side? There’s love. It’s what keeps things in balance, what ties everything together. And if you allow yourself to get out of your own way – if you protect your time, limit your distractions, and just be -you’ll find that love’s been there all along, waiting for you to notice.

Wrapping It Up

 

So yes, maybe the key to loving yourself more isn’t found in doing more. Maybe it’s found in those quiet moments of doing nothing. When you get out of your own way, that’s when you start to see how much love is already there, within you and all around you.

So, the next time you’re tempted to fill a gap in your day, try something radical: don’t. Just sit with it. Let yourself feel bored. You might just discover a little more love in the process.