Finding Freedom in Letting Go

 

There’s this thing I’ve been trying out lately. It’s called letting go. I know, it sounds like something your well-meaning yoga instructor would say, but stick with me. Because after listening to Michael Singer’s podcast and doing some serious life reflection, I realised that most of us (yes, me included) have been doing this whole “life” thing wrong.

I don’t care how many self-help books you’ve read, how long you’ve meditated, or how many Burning Man trips you’ve taken to “find yourself” (guilty as charged). Until you truly learn to let go, you’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The ship’s still going down, my friend.

So here’s the mantra I’ve adopted: Let. It. Go.

It sounds simple. But when your world is falling apart – like when I split from my wife of 20 years – it’s a hell of a lot harder to do than it sounds. Or when you’re standing in the middle of the Nevada desert at Burning Man, trying to figure out why you feel more connected to a dust storm than you do to your own thoughts. That’s where the real work begins.

The Art of Getting Out of Your Own Way

 

Let’s be real. Most of us are our own worst enemies. The mind? It’s like that annoying person who constantly replays conversations, reminding you of every awkward thing you’ve ever said or done. “Why did she say that?” “What did he mean by that?” It’s relentless. And guess what? You can’t stop it. But…and here’s the kicker – you don’t have to.

That’s the lesson Michael Singer hits on time and time again. The mind is going to do what it does. It’s like the ocean making waves. You can’t stop the waves, but you can stop trying to surf them. You don’t need to become the thought. You just need to sit back and watch it. Most people think they have to fix everything that comes up in their mind. Nah. Let it go. I’m talking about detaching from all that mental rubbish we cling to for dear life.

When Life Forces You to Let Go

 

Let me tell you something: my split from my wife was brutal. Two decades together. You build a life, create memories, think you’ve got it all figured out. Then boom -everything shatters. For months, I couldn’t think about anything else. My mind was on overdrive, replaying every discussion, every moment of connection, every “what if.” It was like being trapped in a bad film you can’t escape.

But the truth is, I was the one trapping myself. No one else. Michael Singer talks about this all the time: the mind creates these stories, but you don’t have to live in them. I had to let go of the narrative I built around my marriage and accept that the pain wasn’t who I was, it was just something I was feeling. That shift in perspective? It was a game-changer. I didn’t let go all at once – it came in pieces. But every time I stepped back from the story in my head, I got a little bit freer.

A Different Kind of Pilgrimage

 

Then there was Burning Man. I went looking for answers and found dust – literally and metaphorically. In the middle of all the madness, something clicked. Between the art, the community, and the sheer wildness of it all, I realised something: I could just be. I didn’t have to overthink everything or try to control the uncontrollable.

Burning Man taught me that the more you try to hold on, whether to thoughts, emotions, people, or even dust – the more it slips through your fingers. It wasn’t some grand epiphany. It was more like the constant hum of the universe saying, “Chill, mate. Let it go.”

How to Let Go (And Not Lose Your Sh*t)

 

Here’s the part where we get practical. You might be thinking, “Cool story, but how the hell do I actually let go?” Trust me, I get it. I’m a guy who likes steps. So here’s my straightforward take on how to stop getting tangled up in your mind:

  1. Notice the Thought
    You know when you catch yourself spiralling? That’s the moment. The second you realise you’re caught in the loop, step back. Picture yourself standing on the shore, watching those waves (your thoughts) crash in. You’re not the wave. You’re just the one noticing it. That’s the first step. Awareness is key.
  2. Breathe and Release
    I know, I know. You’ve heard it a million times, but trust me, it works. Take a deep breath. No, seriously. Right now. Feel that? It’s space. You just gave yourself room between you and the thought. Now, exhale and mentally tell yourself, “I let this go.” It sounds cheesy, but it works.
  3. Accept the Sh*t You Can’t Control
    Life is going to throw curveballs. Some things you can’t fix or change, and that’s fine. When you accept that not everything needs a solution, you free up a ton of mental energy. This is where the magic happens. The mind doesn’t need to fix everything. Let it be messy. Let it be uncomfortable. It’ll pass.
  4. Practice Makes Progress
    Letting go is not a one-time thing. You’ve got to do it over and over again. And guess what? You’re going to suck at it at first. That’s okay. The more you practise detaching from your thoughts, the easier it gets. Think of it like going to the gym – you don’t see results after one workout. But over time? Boom. You’re stronger, leaner, and way more chill.
  5. Shift Your Perspective
    Instead of thinking, “I need to stop this thought,” change it to, “I’m curious about this thought.” When you take the pressure off, you stop fuelling the thought with resistance. Now you’re just observing it, like watching a cloud float by. The less energy you give it, the quicker it dissipates.

An Invitation to Let Go

 

Michael Singer gets a lot of credit for guiding me down this path, and if you haven’t already, check out The Untethered Soul and Living Untethered. His work is like a roadmap to understanding how the mind works, and more importantly, how to stop letting it run your life.

But here’s the truth: letting go isn’t some mystical, once-in-a-lifetime enlightenment. It’s daily work. It’s sitting with the uncomfortable stuff and deciding, “Yeah, I can handle this.” You don’t need to conquer your thoughts. You just need to stop believing they define you.

So, take this as your sign to let go. Whether it’s a breakup, a bad day, or that nagging voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough – don’t fight it. Watch it. Let it come. Then let it go. Trust me, you’ll feel a whole lot lighter.

I’d love to hear from you – what resonated with you? Feel free to like this article, share your insights, or chat with me. Let’s explore this journey together, because once you learn to let go, you’ll wonder why you held on for so long.